Bananas

Bananas are a tricky thing. Everyone likes them a certain way. I happen to like them only when they have a little green and absolutely no brown to them. I hate when they get squishy...and I hate that when I try to open one I inevitably squish the top part. I was beginning to think it is impossible not to squish it in the opening process. People may be offended when scientist say we evolved from monkeys, but those little guys figured out one of life's hardest challenges: how to open a banana. Some may laugh and think this is ridiculous, but can anyone really say they have NEVER struggled to open a banana? I think not.

I finally resorted to using a knife. But lately my laziness has taken over and I can't trouble myself to go get a knife to cut the top off with. So, I usually get someone else to open it for me...pathetic I realize. But today ladies and gentlemen, I have done a great thing. Some may compare it to the work of Einstein or Galileo, some to walking on the moon...I, my friends, opened a banana...by myself...without squishing it. How you may ask?? I flicked it. A friend told me the other day to just flick it. You hold the stem so that the banana curves up and towards you, and then you flick it down. The stem just snaps right off. It's truly amazing. So thank you to my friends who taught me one of life's greatest lessons.

*Disclaimer: when using the flick technique, your banana may fall on the floor, be flung against the wall, or fly across the room and hit someone in the face. In the first two instances, the five second rule applies. In the last instance, by all means laugh at the poor kid, and then kindly offer them your banana...it's only fair since you just smacked them in the face with a flying banana and then laughed at them.

Why am I writing about bananas? Well, I made this blog and figured I'd better fill it with something...and bananas were the first thing that came to mind...hence the URL--also I'm the kind of person that would probably slip on a banana peel.

To end this banana rant, I close with a song my mother used to sing to me:

I'm Chaquita banana and I've come to say
Bananas have to ripen in a certain way
When they are flecked with brown and have a golden hue (gross)
Bananas taste the best and are the best for you

You can put them in a salad
You can bake them in a pie-aye
Any way you want to eat them
It's impossible to beat them

But bananas like the climate of the very very tropical equator
So you should never put bananas in the refrigerator

But really, that last part is good advice. Ask my friend Dana. It's a sad sad tale of bananas gone bad. (haha. you see what I did there? ok if you're going to read this blog, you have to appreciate puns...both good and bad)