The ULTIMATE Assassin

I wish I could tell you it was me.

For the past 4 weeks RUF has been playing this super awesome amazing game called assassins. Basically you have a target and a hunter. You're hunter is trying to kill you, you're trying to kill your target.

For the first 4 days I walked around completely paranoid: hood up, taking different routes to classes, not going to the library to study, I even found a third dining hall on campus so I wouldn't have to go to the main ones...it was a little ridiculous, but also SUPER INTENSE! Also, in those first 4 days, I made 3 kills. That's right, I was well on my way to becoming the ultimate assassin.

The following are my kill stories (I admit, some are better than others):

Assassination #1

The time was 21:23:14. Crouched behind a black SUV, wet and dripping from the rain, weapon in hand, I waited. My breath even, my heart keeping a steady beat--a true assassin.  As the headlights illuminated the parking lot of the Beta house, I waited as my target got out of his car and began to walk inside.  Then, still out of sight, I bolted across the parking lot, quick as lightning, somersaulting behind cars and army crawling under engines, my target naive and feeling secure. As he approached the door and began to unlock it, I leapt from behind the final car, flung myself into a back handspring--silent like a ninja--and in one skillful landing motion, retrieved my weapon and sprung into the house behind him.  In the same instant, I swung my shiv-carved water transport device with perfect aim, the lethal liquid penetrating his chest--a direct assassination to the heart. Blood began to pour, people began to scream, the house transformed into a state of frenzied chaos.  My unsuspecting victim, dead--a look of fear and shock still frozen on his face as he hit the floor.    Target eliminated. 

 Harrison Holbrook--dances with Jesus 2/24/2011 21:23:14 

Assassination #2

A group of young UNC students were having a s'mores bonfire on Sunday evening when the assassination took place.  The survivors were horrified, a wave of fear is seizing the campus.  A young freshman, one Diana Castano, was assassinated while making a s'more.  Her assassin, who officials believe to be the STJ (send them to Jesus) Killer, allegedly discovered the group's plan to have a bonfire through the social networking site many young people are using these days known as Facebook.  Once the target's location had been affirmed, the STJ Killer stalked through the grave yard coming up behind the unsuspecting students.  After some incredibly intense army crawling, clearly learned through extensive military training, the STJ killer stood up and shot Diana from an incredible distance with perfect aim--a true assassin.  Witnesses saw only minor details, and police only suspect the work of the STJ killer, though they have yet to discover a pattern or cause for the assassinations. So, students of Carolina, take caution, the STJ Killer is still on the loose, and could be coming for YOU.  

Diana Castano: dances with Jesus 2/27/2011 21:06:33

Assassination #3

Roses are red 

Violets are blue 

I waited for 4 hours to assassinate you... 

 ...ok so really like an hour...but it felt like 4... and it was worth every painfully long second. 

Ian Helfrich: dances with Jesus 2/28/11 10:40:38

Assassination #4

It was a last second tip, but the roommate's betrayal was made complete with a text message declaring the target on the move.  As I raced down the path, I saw him approaching.  Unsuspecting, he started to wave hello, only to be drenched with a water grenade, the remnants splattering my accomplice at his side as well.  It was a sad moment, but a triumphant last second victory for the one true assassin--ME.  

Zach Miller: dances with Jesus 15:03:43 March 16, 2011  

It was this past Thursday--that fateful day--when I was completely blindsided by one of my dearest friends.  She assassinated me in the library, and I must give her credit for stealth.  Luckily, she went on to win the game, so my pride isn't too hurt. Haha.

The one downside to losing was that Mary and I didn't get to carry out our ridiculously genius plan to dominate the game.  We had a roommate pact--it was unbreakable.  As soon as one of us got the other as a target, we immediately became a team, eating away at both ends of the chain (hunting one person's hunter and the other's target) until we were the only two remaining.  We then planned a double suicide--each of us shooting each other at the exact same time--both becoming champions of the game. A true team.

But alas, it was not to be.  
Congratulations Sarah on becoming the ultimate assassin.  Well played my friend.